Why am I such a weirdo that I actually "miss" my depression?

I believe it is totally normal to miss your depression. It has become part of you. It is part of your personality. It is really hard to change things about yourself, it takes work. Your first instinct is to go back to what you know is easy. Even if u are happy you must remember you are still an individual. what u have been through never goes away, use that to relate to human kind.